It’s the new year and time to start thinking about gaining weight. Let’s reach that goal you have wanted to accomplish for years. Join my program and gain weight in 2022 by . . .

1. Follow the food guide pyramid, because all those carbs will really pack on the pounds.
2. Buy some MSG (monosodium glutamate) in the spice aisle, add it to your food, and definitely eat foods that contain this ingredient. This is going to be so easy, because it’s in most processed foods and spices. Don’t worry if it says MSG free, because companies can hide it under 40 ingredients!  This should make you hungrier.
3. Eat food that has been grown in dead soil, because it will be lower in nutrients and you will be hungrier as your body craves vitamins and minerals. Most of the farms growing our food are using chemical fertilizers, herbicides, and pesticides, so this will be easy too.
4. Eat vegetable oils, because your body won’t recognize them, and it will start craving more fats in search of the real stuff.  These cheap oils are in most products, so it’s another easy step.
5. Eat white sugar. This highly processed, addictive “white death,” with its empty calories, will have you begging for more.
6. Eat white flour. It’s what is left after stripping all of the nutrients and fiber from wheat so this will leave you unsatisfied.
7. Look for products with artificial sweeteners, because they are great for destroying the nervous system and causing weight gain. Look for zero calorie foods, diet sodas, and much more.
8. It’s so important not to eat wholesome, nutrient dense foods that have nourished generations of people like our great grandparents. You may start feeling energetic, clear headed, and satisfied. Your goal to gain weight may become a dream again.

Disclaimer: I am NOT a weight gain expert, I’m just really good at it! This statement has not been approved by the FDA. Please consult your doctor before starting a weight gain program! If you do need to gain weight, I also don’t recommend my program.